Let the regression begin.

As it turns out, my job has one of the scariest perks available to people working in Canada. My union affords me the opportunity to earn nearly the equivalent of my salary while staying at home... with my son... who is three months old. Did I mention I'll be alone with him for ten hours each day? As I am essentially a thirty year old child, caring for Cohen each and everyday (all day!) seems both wildly exciting and downright terrifying. For the last month and a half or so I have had this recurring daydream where I am wandering the aisles of Save-On or Costco, with my son in tow, and I never speak a word of English. I just blabber along with 'coos' and 'goos' and other bits of nonsense that are perfectly understood by Cohen and no-one else. I am endeavouring to retain my vocabulary and an ability to string it together into consistent sentences by writing in this blog as often as I have time. At the end of my ten months, as I return to work, I'll be able to reflect upon this journal and see just how much of my son's language I've adopted.

June 29, 2010

The Importance of a good sidekick.



Batman had Robin, although some would argue that Robin was more of a lover than a sidekick. The Tick also had a sidekick, Arthur, who you might argue was actually the Tick's brain. I have Bella. Her full name is Orabella Sinclair Shular and she is most definitely my “partner in crime”. Mostly she follows me around, loyal to a fault, always looking for an opportunity to shower me with affection. (I look at this simply as her canine way of complimenting me on my super-powers, powers of deduction, or what have you.)

Of course, my super-powers have been generally concentrated to one area: parenting. As such, Bella has had to adapt her own set of abilities to enhance mine. When we first brought Cohen home we were very concerned that Bella might not be able to adapt to her new role. In fact, it seemed as though Cohen might be Bella's cryptonite and for awhile the situation was quite dire. But, like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable, Bella was able to climb out of that deep dark pool and she's stronger in her role than ever before.

Her daily duties might consist of the following: (although her ability to shift on the fly as needed is definitely an important one)

5:30 AM - Cohen screams us to wakefulness. Bella rushes to my bedside to inform me of Cohen's impending self destruction if not fed immediately.

5:45 AM - After devouring most of a bottle, Cohen will generally throw up ten percent or more of his most recent meal. Bella's “spidey-sense” picks up the need for her to clean up and she is there almost instantly. Sometimes the battle for supremacy falls in the vomit's favour and Bella has to unleash her secret weapon; the unstoppable shoulder roll.

6:00 AM - Cohen gets a change (an ability I never knew I would master), along with a wipe of nearly his entire body (he's that frantic during meals). The cloth, apparently suspect, has to be thoroughly inspected by Bella. Through vigorous shaking, incessant growling, and excited rolling Bella has been able to keep whatever evil lurks in that cloth away from her family.

6:30 AM – Bella and I return to our batcave for more sleep. Being a superhero is hard work and you need to get your naps whenever you can.

8:30 AM – Bella takes point as I pilot Cohen in his stroller. No real super-mission involved in this; just need to get outside once in awhile. A pooch has got to pee, you know.

The majority of the day is divided up amongst rolling, licking (of Cohen, me, mailmen, and unsuspecting visitors) and eating. There is never a prescribed order and sometimes one action leads to the other. She might find something interesting to eat under our cabinets and then decide it is no longer tasty but has a very nice scent which she'll then wear until her next bath. No matter though, she is like a firefighter; always honing her abilities, working out, and getting mentally prepared for her next sidekick duty.

She is an integral part of Team Shular and will help out immensely during my time with Cohen. I imagine once Cohen is old enough, Bella will become his sidekick; probably sometime around the age when he starts holding his own food.

June 25, 2010

Raising a glass for Cohen


I'll be exiting the Port of Vancouver on Sunday afternoon, sometime around four o'clock, for the very last time in 2010. Nine hour workdays inside of grain elevators and the camaraderie of one hundred plus co-workers is going to be replaced by one tiny little, mostly speechless, baby boy. It's funny how insignificant my workday and all of its happenings is in comparison to my future with Cohen. Sample analysis at a laboratory bench versus attempting to feed a young boy who finds very little reason to eat as he stares up at me, his entire face articulating his happiness and excitement for something so simple as my presence in his field of view. Is there really a choice to be made? I understand I'll be changing diapers, cleaning up drool and spit-up, and adhering to a fairly strict napping schedule. For each nappie, for each dash of formula left on my clothes, my face, or our dog (who seems to wait patiently for just such a treat), and each project or outing dropped abruptly for a sleepy boy - I know that I'll benefit from his animated chatter, his ever improving motor skills, and his frequent smiles. Of course I am nervous; dropping the workload I've had for the last five years and replacing it with a three month old is definitely scary and foreign to me. I am optimistic that this time will be as rewarding for him as I know it will be for me. On Sunday, after work, after running 10k, and after washing the car, I'll relax in the company of my wife, dog, and son, crack open an Anarchist Ale (thanks, Bruce) and this paragraph will be the toast in my head.